Equanimity Amidst Chaos – Deconstructing Your self

Guided Nondual Meditation with Michael Taft

Streamed stay on Feb 17, 2022

Introduction: The Chaos Begins

Nicely my hair’s tousled and the web is tousled and all the things’s tousled and but right here we go! We’re stay and we’re gonna do it, we’re gonna do it tousled. So, hopefully your life is much less chaotic than mine is in the mean time, simply this afternoon. However perhaps it’s not, perhaps you’re feeling chaos too and we’re gonna work with that, proper? That’s all nice. Let me simply see if I can get this video set somewhat bit extra the way in which I would like it to be and we’ll work from there.

All proper, so no matter sort of being you’re, if you happen to’re watching this you’re most likely in a sentient being of some type in a single samsara or one other and so chaos and upset and issues not being the way in which you need them to be; issues being perhaps the way in which you need them to be, however now you’re nervous about hanging on to them the way in which you need them to be… and so forth. 

You recognize stuff occurs, and as you understand an enormous a part of this fashion that we’re studying right here, the way in which that I’m presenting meditation teachings, is that we’re noticing our already current Buddhahood, our liberated facets. And it’s humorous you understand, as a instructor I speak to folks, a lot of folks, daily about their meditation apply, daily for many years now, proper? An extended, very long time. And one of many primary issues I hear with people who find themselves good at meditation is, like, “I… all the things’s going good however I feel I’m going to again up and work on my focus. I wish to work on my focus to get issues extra secure.” And naturally, this can be a excellent factor.

Focus is nice, it actually helps and that temper of like, “I’m gonna return to fundamentals and get my focus collectively,” that’s an excellent temper – nothing fallacious with that. However as you may guess I’m going to say, however, however really it won’t be an important factor. It won’t be an important factor. What’s an important factor? Nicely, focus is essential, however what’s much more essential? Nicely, we’d say love or caring and kindness and compassion, and that’s true. That’s not less than equally essential to focus and but even love and compassion and kindness; we may speak about that as having a facet of equanimity in it, and that’s what I might say is much more essential than getting your focus collectively is getting your equanimity collectively.

So tonight we’re going to work on equanimity, okay? As a result of it, you understand, if you concentrate on what you may want out of your apply one of many primary issues folks need is, you understand, for all the issues to go away. However guess what? That is samsara, so so long as you’re in a physique, so long as you’re right here issues by no means go away. It’s not such as you’re going to achieve some place the place you by no means get sick and the world isn’t fucked up and your hair isn’t tousled and you understand issues are out of order and all the things’s breaking. That’s simply the character of this place and regardless of how awake you get, regardless of how liberated, it stays that means as a result of that’s the character of this place; that is the saha world, that is what it’s like. And so even your absolutely liberated Buddha-self doesn’t change that, however what it does change is the way you relate to it and the way you relate while you relate to it in a sure means of openness; in a sure means of feeling like all the things’s okay whilst screwed up as it’s. And also you’re not checked out, you’re not checked out into some sort of dissociative state, or bypassing however fairly you’re actually with the stuff, understanding how screwed up it’s, understanding how chaotic it’s, understanding how tousled your hair is, or no matter, you’re completely clear about that and but you’re okay with it. That’s known as equanimity, proper? 

And give it some thought. Would you fairly have the power to pay attention very well or the power that, it doesn’t matter what occurs, regardless of how screwed up all the things will get, you could be—even when your feelings are screwed up—even while you’re crammed with rage or despair or no matter, the deepest a part of you is simply okay? All the things’s okay. Would you fairly have that or would you fairly have good focus? I might go for the primary one, proper? That’s equanimity, that’s like the actual Buddha nature coming ahead, proper?  I can work with this, there’s sufficient room, there’s sufficient area, there’s sufficient love, there’s sufficient compassion. That all the things’s okay, even when it… on the relative degree, on the samsaric degree, it’s actually not okay. Some deep a part of you remains to be cool with even the way in which you’re freaking out proper now. In order that’s equanimity, proper? It doesn’t imply that you just at all times really feel peaceable and your thoughts is at all times crammed with lovely ideas. Equanimity is when even when your thoughts is crammed with chaos and rage and despair and your feelings are far and wide, this deep a part of you remains to be okay, proper? That’s actual equanimity and that’s what we’re gonna work on.

Meditation

So let’s arrange our meditation and naturally as traditional we’re going to start out with some focus stuff; some samadhi apply, some shamatha apply. However, I would like you to think about it as simply sort of settling the waters, we’re getting within the groove, we’re letting all the things sort of–I don’t like translating shamatha as focus anyway–I like translating it as, you understand, amassing collectively, as gathering, as integrating, as grounding, like that. 

So sit in your meditation posture and, I haven’t stated this in a very long time, so I’ll simply remind you that in this hour-long meditation I would like you to be nonetheless. Don’t transfer, don’t transfer your physique, be actually, actually nonetheless. You’ll see me consuming my tea and so forth and that’s as a result of I’ve to speak and I’ve to work with a pc so I’m shifting somewhat bit, however after I meditate I don’t transfer in any respect and I would like you to additionally be taught to take a seat nonetheless for an hour, okay? 

So bear in mind, we’re getting in a posture the place we really feel good, we will lay on our backs so long as your decrease again is flat on the ground along with your knees up, or if you happen to’re sitting you need your knees to be decrease than your hips and so your decrease again has received that good little curve in it and it makes your head pop up. Nevertheless it’s like a sort of actually light, very easy, essentially the most easy attainable erect backbone. So simply discover that spot once more, it’s a lot simpler along with your knees decrease than your hips – that spot the place your backbone stays good and upright with simply the minimal effort. You’re not placing in numerous muscle to maintain it upright. If you’re will probably be actually onerous to remain within the posture however if you happen to sit correctly you’ll discover your again simply stays upright and it would sort of wiggle like a sapling in a mild breeze, however it’s very straightforward to remain upright and it makes the highest of your head – the very best spot in your head – sort of carry up, your chin tucks somewhat bit.

Your shoulders and arms are completely relaxed, completely relaxed. Normally we’re gonna allow them to relaxation in our lap like this [demonstrates Dhyana mudra] however you would even have them in your knees – resting in your thighs both palms down or palms up [demonstrates palms up and down with thumb and index finger touching to form circle] however they’re resting on the thighs. 

You’ll see in clip artwork the place individuals are meditating with their elbows on their knees and their fingers up within the air and it appears to be like actually cool for {a photograph} however it’s a very dumb method to meditate, so by no means meditate like that!

Have your arms resting in your thighs, and so from there I would like you to only tune in to what it’s prefer to be you proper now. Simply verify in with your self, all the things that’s occurring, all the things you’re feeling, all the things you’re considering, how your physique feels, how your feelings really feel, simply what’s the overall climate report? And, regardless of the climate report is, I would like you to simply be okay with it. You recognize, like, “okay, that is the climate report proper now, we’re probably not going to alter that.” So simply tune in for a minute, do this for me. 

Okay. Good, now what I would like you to do is simply sit and breathe, you may breathe naturally and usually, don’t change your breath this week however I would like you to meditate now like an ocean. Okay, it’s an enormous, huge ocean, very deep. There could also be a lot of waves on the floor however in comparison with how deep that ocean is the waves don’t even trouble it. And so that you’re simply this monumental huge ocean, all fluidity, it’s very comfy being the ocean. Bear in mind final week after we did the 5 aspect meditation? Water is comfy, it’s ‘flowey’, it’s fluid, it feels good, it doesn’t resist, proper? So really feel that basically fluid, yummy side of being this huge, huge, huge ocean but additionally discover that ideas going by, feelings going by – all that are simply rippling waves on the floor of the ocean within the deep, deep, deep water of the ocean. It’s simply very nonetheless and really calm and feels nice, okay? 

So tune into being an ocean and then you definitely’re simply noticing the wave of the breath passing on the floor of the ocean and the ocean is simply noticing that breath-wave shifting via it, okay? And that’s how I’m going to have you ever meditate for the following few minutes right here, so let’s get going with that.

Bear in mind, you’re only a huge ocean. It’s so huge, the ocean is so broad and so deep you may’t even discover the underside, you may’t discover the shore. It’s simply an infinite ocean and the waves are shifting on the very floor of the ocean however the ocean itself is so deep and so broad that the waves don’t disturb it in any means. And considered one of these waves is simply the breath-wave coming and going, coming and going and we’re hanging with that breath-wave, we’re noticing it coming and going and I would like you to notably discover when the in-breath involves an finish, when the out-breath involves an finish. Put somewhat additional consideration on that and simply permit these waves to return and go with out interference, however actually noticing them.

Good, in order that’s just a bit little bit of shamatha to sort of collect our energies, to sort of accumulate the thoughts right into a extra secure place, a barely extra secure place. Simply sort of like shifting from the common day into our meditation somewhat bit.

And so now persevering with to meditate like an ocean, your huge, huge, huge ocean. There aren’t even any shores wherever, there’s no backside, it’s only a huge ocean; extremely huge ocean of consciousness. And now what I would like you to meditate on are simply the ripples, not simply the breath however ripples of thought shifting throughout the ocean, ripples of emotion shifting throughout the ocean; the movement of emotion shifting throughout the ocean. And any physique sensations shifting, rippling throughout the ocean – discover that these are really occurring – they’re shifting throughout the floor, they’re rippling, perhaps in numerous instructions and all that., however in comparison with the vastness of this infinite ocean of consciousness they’re utterly minor. There’s a lot room for all

this thought, there’s a lot room for all this emotion, there’s all a lot room for all these physique sensations, there’s a lot room for the sound or pictures which are occurring on the planet that basically these ripples don’t trouble this huge ocean in any respect. It’s like a drop in a bucket, it simply doesn’t disturb the deep peace of this ocean of consciousness.

Okay, so I would like you to only really deal with the ripples, deal with the considering with out making an attempt to alter it, with out getting concerned in it however actually noticing it occurring. Concentrate on the feelings which are shifting via the physique, deal with the sensations. In different phrases, all the things that’s arising, you’re taking note of it, you’re not ignoring it or pretending it’s not there. You’re not making an attempt to alter it, you’re not making an attempt to regulate it however neither are you uninvolved – you’re really paying consideration. This ocean of consciousness is conscious so it’s conscious of those ripples however I would like you to note that they’re identical to wind within the sky, they’re simply ripples shifting via an enormous infinite ocean they usually don’t disturb the deep peace of the deep ocean in any respect. 

So tune into that now. 

These ideas, these feelings, these physique sensations, the sounds and sights of the world and all the things else – smells, no matter, tastes – they’re all simply these ripples on the floor of this huge ocean of consciousness and they don’t trouble it in any means. They don’t should be modified, they don’t should be managed, they’re completely lovely easy arisings that go over the floor of the ocean and don’t disturb the deep ocean in any means.

What sort of apply is that this? That is vacancy apply, proper? It’s simply one other means of doing it. So that is vacancy apply, we’re not ignoring the waves, we’re absolutely conscious of the ideas, absolutely conscious of the emotions, absolutely conscious of the arising of all the things and but on the identical time we discover that it’s completely, completely not disturbing the deep peace of consciousness and on the identical time it’s not completely different than consciousness, proper? So simply let these ripples transfer throughout the ocean of consciousness and we’re very conscious of every ripple and but noticing that it doesn’t disturb the peace in any means. 

Okay good, now remaining as a huge ocean of consciousness, boundless ocean of consciousness. There’s no shore, there’s no backside, it’s simply an infinite ocean of consciousness; ‘flowey’, comfy, comfortable, undisturbed by something. 

Now let go of the vipashyana apply, the vacancy apply, and as an alternative simply relaxation because the ocean. The waves are nonetheless there, there’s nonetheless ideas, there’s nonetheless emotions. There’s nonetheless – the entire world is arising in consciousness – after all, however we’re not partaking with any of it. 

Simply present the attention to itself, let consciousness pay attention to consciousness – that’s it – and spot that it’s easy as a result of consciousness is already conscious. 

So, in different phrases, we’re doing dropping the ball. So anytime you become involved with one of many ripples on the floor of the ocean you simply let go and sink again into the deep ocean which is completely awake, completely conscious, completely relaxed; boundless, huge awakeness with none effort. Every time you become involved simply let go and are available again to resting because the ocean of consciousness with none effort. 

If there’s any sense that one thing, you understand, huge goes to occur right here otherwise you’re ready for one thing to occur, let go of that fully. That is fantastic, that is consciousness resting as consciousness, that is resting within the true state, proper? Simply consciousness conscious of itself, completely undisturbed and uninvolved. With any ripples, any ideas which are arising, you’re simply not partaking them in any respect. Any emotions which are arising, not partaking them in any respect. They’re nonetheless there, they’re ripples on the ocean, however that is the deep ocean simply conscious of itself. 

Now you would possibly discover your ideas getting actually confused or you could even really feel like ripples or waves of confusion are on the ocean, that’s okay. The water of the deep ocean of consciousness is at all times completely clear. If the ideas get jumbled or confused, that’s nice, it doesn’t make consciousness confused. Otherwise you would possibly really feel waves of, like, fatigue. You would possibly immediately really feel such as you’re drifting or falling asleep, these are simply waves on the ocean. Consciousness itself, the attention of the deep ocean is vibrant and clear and wakeful; vibrant and clear and wakeful.  So the ripples of fatigue are simply… once more, these are physique sensations and so forth, they’re not something we’re concerned with. So that you would possibly really feel confusion otherwise you would possibly really feel fatigued, you would possibly really feel bored like waves of boredom, you understand, like “when’s this going to finish?” Once more, that’s all simply ripples. The huge ocean of consciousness is obvious and vibrant and undisturbed and it feels so good to only relaxation in itself. It simply rests in itself, conscious of itself, by itself. Anytime it begins to become involved with ideas or emotions it simply relaxes again into being this huge, boundless ocean.

Discover that even the sense of doing a meditation is only a ripple on the floor of this infinite ocean of consciousness that’s not disturbed by something.  Even the sense of being anyone doing one thing is only a ripple on the ocean that doesn’t disturb the ocean in any means. Even the sense that one thing’s imagined to occur, or something like that, it’s all simply vanishing ripples on the floor of the ocean. The deep, deep boundless waters of the ocean of consciousness aren’t disturbed by that in any means. They’re completely nonetheless, completely clear, completely vibrant and wakeful with none disturbance of any sort. The waves come and go and the ocean is just not disturbed. 

The huge ocean of consciousness doesn’t come and go. The huge ocean of consciousness is just not one thing you may create or strengthen or greater or clearer, it’s at all times been there, it’s going to at all times be there. The huge ocean of consciousness is vibrant and clear underneath all situations and it’s not bothered by something. That is the that means of equanimity, the huge notion of consciousness is peace, is stillness, is equanimity. Even with all of the ripples on the floor it’s not disturbed.

For therefore lengthy you’ve thought you’re the ideas and emotions of the ripples on the floor, however if you happen to’re something in any respect you’re this deep ocean of consciousness that may be conscious of these ripples typically however proper now could be simply conscious of its nature as peace and stillness and wakefulness, undisturbed by something. 

Now, this huge ocean of consciousness merely resting in itself, conscious of itself. From this place we’re going to shift, and we’re going to shift into feeling pleasure for all beings in all places, feeling love for all beings in all places, feeling great kindness in the direction of all beings in all places and streaming that out – this ocean goes in all places. 

So large waves of affection and pleasure and needs for well being and energy, all rippling out, rippling out, rippling out, rippling out to all beings in all places!  A sense of great vitality and vitality rippling out in the direction of all beings in all places. A sense of friendliness and togetherness and belonging and sibling-hood, brotherhood and sisterhood and being-hood rippling out to all beings in all places.  

Large pleasure, great kindness, great well being and therapeutic. Large sense of belonging and friendliness and friendship and together-hood, rippling out in the direction of all beings in all places. Actually really feel that basically strongly, spreading out in all instructions, reaching all beings in all places within the multiverse. 

Okay? Good now let’s finish this session of meditation.

Dharma Speak

Permitting your physique to maneuver finally after an hour. Permitting your self to maneuver and stretch and permit your physique to really feel good. You possibly can wiggle your fingers and toes, wiggle your ears, no matter is enjoyable and amusing so that you can get that physique shifting once more. Permitting your physique to really feel good, have a drink of water or no matter. 

However after all, the huge ocean of consciousness doesn’t change, it was not one thing you have been creating with the meditation, it’s not one thing that you just domesticate, it’s not one thing that you just make occur. It’s at all times there, it’s what you’re, it’s your nature. And so even after we cease the meditation apply, it’s nonetheless there. The huge ocean of consciousness that’s undisturbed by something is at all times there. Now, after we’re extremely recognized as ideas and emotions, as feelings, my treasured feelings, my essential feelings, my feelings, my feelings; how I react to all the things is so delicate and so essential. After we’re extremely, extremely recognized with that we get actually caught up and we get tight and we get knocked round. 

It’s like we’re somewhat bobber, proper? You recognize what a bobber is? Like if you happen to’ve been fishing—a fishing bobber or like a cork—you’re only a cork being whipped round on the waves. 

Identical factor if you happen to’re all caught up in your ideas, “oh, all the things is simply my thoughts, I’m simply my ideas. If I’m having unhealthy ideas I’m so recognized with these they usually’re so actual and concrete that I am unhealthy ideas.” 

From having nice ideas, “oh, that is the very best factor on the planet, now I’m nice ideas. Oh, I want to hold onto that.” 

Once more, you’re only a cork or a bobber being whipped round on these waves. And you are able to do this as a result of the waves aren’t separate from the ocean. Consciousness is in some way not completely different than thought, completely different than emotion. Ideas and feelings are made from consciousness, proper? So you may zero in on these and faux that that’s who or what you’re. And that’s what we’re educated to do all through the course of our lives and so we’re sort of educated into being whipped round on these waves. 

However for each minute of our life, each second you’re alive, what’s actually there may be this infinite huge ocean of consciousness which is, after all, empty. 

Similar to all the things else, it’s not a factor, that is simply a picture. However consciousness, this huge ocean of consciousness is at all times there and while you let go of being recognized with these ideas and tightly gripped onto them, they usually’re so actual and so essential, and also you let go of being tightly gripped within the feelings and hanging on to them and also you’re making an attempt to control and management them, “I wish to really feel these good feelings and that i don’t wish to really feel these unhealthy feelings.” While you’re caught up like that, after we’re caught in these ideas and emotions we get knocked round, proper? It’s the other of equanimity, the ups and downs are tremendous intense and actually essential and we’re at all times struggling in opposition to them and it’s at all times an issue. 

However the fact is, once more, what – if we’re something in any respect, proper? We’re additionally this huge ocean of consciousness that’s by no means disturbed by something. There’s no want to regulate or deny or suppress the considering, and even make it good. There’s no want to regulate or deny or suppress the feelings or to attempt to solely have good feelings. None of that’s obligatory as a result of the huge ocean of consciousness is completely nice with no matter arises, it’s completely accepting with no matter arises, it’s completely undisturbed with no matter arises, it can’t be bothered by something that arises. It’s not like you may have a thought that’s so unhealthy it’s going to simply evaporate the ocean. It’s not like you may have an emotion that’s so unhealthy it might probably freeze the entire ocean. Plainly means if you happen to’re actually tightly hooked into these ideas and emotions however that’s not what actually occurs; the huge ocean of consciousness stays vibrant and clear and awake and undisturbed by something it doesn’t matter what.  

So once more, even when the ideas and emotions are tremendous disturbed, so it’s not in some way like making an attempt to make it so – you understand the kind of – I don’t know, I’ll simply use this actually ‘judgy’ phrase, okay? I’m gonna be actually judgmental and say the actually immature mind-set about your non secular practices, “oh, after I get good at this meditation I’ll be even via all the things and this evenness by, you understand, all the things will likely be cool and nothing will disturb me.” However what we imply by that, in an immature means, is my ideas and emotions will stay undisturbed, proper? The ideas and emotions that I feel I’m will likely be clean crusing… However that’s not what it’s like in any respect. That’s not what’s and if it’s beginning to get that means – certain okay your ideas and emotions are somewhat smoother nice – however if you happen to want them to be clean like that your apply goes backwards, you’re simply getting extra inflexible and extra caught in thought and feeling and making an attempt to regulate it and make it clean. “Oh yeah, when actually unhealthy issues occur which are horrible I’m simply clean, my ideas and emotions are clean. When actually fantastic issues occur, oh, my ideas and emotions are simply clean.” That’s known as being useless, proper? Or being checked out, being numb, being dissociated. Being… You recognize, that may occur, typically somewhat bit, but when that’s your regular state – you’re completely misplaced, okay? That’s, that’s not what we’re doing right here. That may be a very immature view of apply. I’m utilizing a ‘judgy’ phrase – take care of it.

The mature view is sort of completely different, it’s that ideas and emotions could be as loud as they need, they are often as upset as they need, they are often as indignant or stuffed with despair, so unhappy, or as fearful as they need or ideas could be actually darkish or actually terrible. Or all of these issues could be fantastic, you could be crammed with pleasure and happiness. And regardless of. That doesn’t have an effect on this consciousness wherein all these issues are occurring, it doesn’t have an effect on it in any respect. 

Now that’s, that’s a really completely different view. That may be a very completely different view, okay? And also you say, “Nicely, how do I discover this consciousness?” Nicely, how are you aware you’re having a thought proper now? One thing’s – I imply it’s not a factor – however one thing’s conscious of the considering. Discover I stated, conscious. One thing’s conscious of the considering, that consciousness is the attention. How are you aware you’re having an enormous emotion or any emotion? Nicely, you understand you’re having an emotion since you’re conscious of it, that’s the attention. 

Consciousness is going on on a regular basis, that’s how you understand you’re alive, that’s how you understand you’re having a thought, that’s how you understand you’re having a sense. So get this, the ideas are altering on a regular basis however you’re constantly conscious of them, the attention is at all times there. The emotions are altering on a regular basis however you’re constantly conscious of them. The attention is at all times there. You’re shifting your head all over the world, the imaginative and prescient of the world is altering on a regular basis however the consciousness is at all times there. Sounds are coming in your ears on a regular basis they usually’re at all times completely different, but the attention is at all times there. It’s inconceivable to cease being conscious. 

Okay, the attention is at all times there. There could also be sure particular states wherein consciousness blips out for durations of time however even then I might contend that there’s a deep, deep, deep consciousness of what’s occurring. 

The attention is at all times current, so in different phrases ideas and emotions on the planet will at all times change, they are often huge and small and we’re not making an attempt to alter that. Relatively, we’re simply resting on this vibrant, clear—I’m completely nonetheless—consciousness that’s the foundation of all the things, proper? It’s not separate than ideas and emotions however fairly it’s the floor out of which ideas and emotions come up. Similar to ideas come out of the waves, come out of the ocean. And it’s additionally the bottom to which ideas and emotions return, identical to waves return into being the ocean, okay?

So the way in which I’m speaking about this you can begin to really feel like consciousness is a factor and I’m calling it an ocean and an ocean is a factor. However, consciousness itself is just not a factor and so don’t make it right into a factor, like “oh I’m over right here that factor known as consciousness.” Don’t do this. Consciousness is conscious of itself by itself, it doesn’t want somebody to face outdoors it and faux to take a look at it. Who’s doing the trying? Consciousness is doing the trying. In order that complete transfer of standing outdoors it and really feel such as you’re consciousness? That’s not it. Don’t make it right into a factor, it’s not a factor. It’s simply conscious, okay? 

So that is the equanimity I’m speaking about and this equanimity is already there – I’m going to sneeze cling on. Am I going to sneeze? It’s virtually there, it’s virtually there. Perhaps not, I’ll put the… oh perhaps, oh I can’t inform. Nicely, that occurs, it occurs. I misplaced my practice of thought… the practice of thought is that – the attention, the equanimity is at all times there. 

The equanimity is the premise of your being. And so we’re not in some way cultivating this stillness or constructing equanimity like we’re build up cash in a checking account or one thing. The equanimity is infinite and it’s already there. And also you simply calm down, you simply return, you simply acknowledge this consciousness and this equanimity that’s already current. And when you acknowledge it, you simply relaxation. That’s it. Acknowledge the attention that’s already there and relaxation. Acknowledge the equanimity that’s already there and relaxation and if you happen to get caught up within the waves, simply the minute you discover that, acknowledge and simply come again to being the ocean of equanimity that’s at all times there and simply relaxation. The waves do themselves, thought and emotions do themselves, taking motion on the planet does itself. It does itself, consciousness merely notices, with none effort.

Be part of Michael’s mailing record and get notified of latest choices and programs.

Donate to assist create extra of those movies and extra.

Associated