How We Discover That means by Placing Ourselves In Bins

I’ve been down some deep rabbit holes over the previous few years.

After I discover one thing that sparks my curiosity, I turn into obsessive about studying every part I can about it.

I’ve found issues like astrology, human design, David Kibbe’s model system, shade evaluation, and Ikigai, all of which have led me to a deeper understanding of myself and my private preferences.

I’ve had a-ha seconds after studying that my astrology placements can clarify my love for writing or that outsized, stylish garments don’t work on me as a result of I’m a Smooth Basic in Kibbe’s model system.

These methods and labels could be useful as a result of they validate and make sure what we already find out about ourselves. They assist us identify complicated ideas and supply parameters that cut back evaluation paralysis.

However there’s one downside.

My curiosity in these methods and character checks begins as excited curiosity after which shortly slips into an all-consuming must get every part ‘proper.’ It’s simple for an curiosity to turn into an obsession (and due to Reddit, I do know I’m not the one one).

So are these methods really useful in the event that they trigger us to hyperfocus on making the ‘greatest’ or ‘proper’ resolution?

As we speak I’m sharing what I’ve discovered from these methods, how we discover that means by way of them, and why I actually assume we prefer to label ourselves.

The rise of bins and labels

Let’s begin by speaking about totally different methods and labels so that you perceive what I’m referring to.

Forewarning: after studying this, you might fall into a few of your personal rabbit holes.

Kibbe Physique Varieties

Launched within the Eighties, David Kibbe’s model system relies on 13 picture identities. These identities aren’t associated to the standard fruit physique shapes (apple, pear, and so on.) however fairly how proportionate you look, whether or not you’re extra angular or rounded, and the way tall or brief you appear.

The thought is to decorate in a manner that enhances your pure options. Maybe you’ve at all times struggled to make clothes developments work, however you couldn’t determine why. Your Kibbe physique sort would possibly provide you with some clues.

You possibly can attempt to determine which kind you might be utilizing on-line quizzes, however solely David Kibbe himself can provide an correct typing. Due to this exclusivity, folks really feel they haven’t any selection however to find out their very own sort, and there are subreddits to assist folks determine it out.

It’s all good enjoyable while you’re getting began, however it may possibly shortly turn into irritating while you don’t fall neatly into one class or get caught making an attempt to comply with the rules.

Shade Evaluation

Shade evaluation (aka discovering your “greatest colours”) is one other system from the 80s that’s come again in full pressure. Are you a winter, summer season, spring, or autumn? Are you heat or cool, brilliant or muted, gentle or deep?

They are saying understanding your colours will aid you look harmonious in your garments, and also you received’t should put on as a lot make-up as a result of the colours will do the give you the results you want (the truth that that is primarily focused at ladies bettering their appears to be like is a subject for an additional time).

The issue is that some folks fall neatly into these seasons and others don’t. I’m embarrassed to confess that I’ve thrown my cash at 5 totally different digital shade analysts solely to have all of them inform me I’m in numerous seasons.

I can hear you saying, “Simply put on the colours you want!” Sadly, my mind can’t appear to let me try this now that I find out about shade evaluation. The perfectionist in me desires an identical wardrobe.

Astrology

Astrology is a system that helps us perceive ourselves and others by way of the motion of the planets. Maybe it’s a generational factor or simply the bubble I’m in, however astrology appears much less taboo right now than it was prior to now.

Astrology can provide you a greater understanding of who you might be and aid you interpret your present part of life. You could know you’re a Leo, however have you learnt the place the moon was while you had been born and the way which will have an effect on your emotional wants? Or how about the place Mars presently is and the way which will have an effect on your motivation ranges?

Due to its potential to interpret future occasions, the quote goes: “Millionaires don’t have astrologers; billionaires do.”

Whereas astrology could be useful if you understand how to make use of it, utilizing it within the unsuitable manner can create detrimental stereotypes and generalizations.

Human Design

There’s one other system associated to astrology known as Human Design which can assist you perceive tips on how to reside your every day life with ease.

Relying in your sort, you’ll be able to decide whether or not one of the best use of your vitality is to be an initiator of recent concepts (Manifestors), to be a workhorse and get issues finished (Mills), to comply with your many pursuits (Manifesting Generator), to be a information to others (Projectors), or to easily observe the world and replicate again what you be taught (Reflectors).

This one opened my eyes to the concept our fashionable world tells everybody they have to be initiators and workhorses, but many individuals should not designed to make use of their vitality that manner (maybe that is one purpose why burnout and power fatigue are so prevalent right now).

Why we put ourselves in bins

Perhaps you’ve gone down the identical rabbit holes as I’ve, or maybe these methods have by no means piqued your curiosity.

Both manner, we people prefer to put folks into bins even once we say we don’t.

The query I discover myself asking is: What am I REALLY searching for to know about myself by way of these methods?

For me, the attraction is a set of parameters which have the potential to make my life simpler.

If I do know that I’m a sure physique sort within the Kibbe system and my shade season is True Autumn, possibly I’ll waste much less cash on garments that don’t swimsuit me.

If I do know that I’m an INFJ within the Myers-Briggs Kind Indicator, I can really feel higher about my want for alone time.

Maybe all of that is to say that I’m a perfectionist who desires a algorithm to comply with as a result of I believe that can make my life simpler.

However is searching for an out of doors system as an inside guidebook the way in which to go?

In an version of Oliver Burkeman’s e-newsletter titled ‘Programs vs. life’, he writes:

Many people yearn to discover a system or algorithm or life philosophy that might in some way reside life for us, on our behalf, so that after we’d pledged allegiance to the rulebook, we wouldn’t should face the messiness and discomfort of really exhibiting up, second after second.

If I actually dig deep, I need these methods to offer me confidence in myself after I really feel unworthy.

Perhaps if I comply with the foundations and pointers completely, I received’t should cope with any discomfort that makes me really feel self-conscious.

However life doesn’t work that manner.

Turning into too reliant on an out of doors algorithm means we lose our private preferences within the seek for what’s proper or good.

The search for self-understanding shouldn’t turn into a pursuit of perfection.

Are these methods pointless?

So, if we are able to’t depend on these bins and methods to outline who we’re, does that imply they’re fully pointless?

I don’t assume so. In any case, they can assist us make sense of the world and discover that means in summary methods.

It’s completely comprehensible to need a sense of that means in life since nobody desires to waste their time and vitality. However looking for the right system and making an attempt to comply with it to a T would possibly finish in wasted time and vitality anyway.

A part of the enjoyable of life is seeing what involves us once we’re not pushing, not looking for solutions, and never making an attempt to make issues good. All you must do is ‘be’ – you’ll be you both manner.

Ultimately, making an attempt to depend on any system apart from your personal interior understanding will lead you additional away from what you need and want.

Let your self include multitudes

Figuring out your character traits or discovering your good colours isn’t essentially going to vary your life or provide the confidence you search.

There’s nothing unsuitable with utilizing these sorts of methods and labels; you simply should strategy them from a spot of curiosity fairly than perfection. In the event that they’re not enjoyable anymore, it could be time to let go.

In the event you actually need to really feel assured in your self, settle for that you could be a number of issues directly. Be okay with being undefinable. Create your personal pointers for all times as an alternative.

I write this as a message to you and to myself. It’s what I want to listen to to cease getting so caught up within the particulars.